Saturday, October 16, 2004
How far exactly do you think your head is up your ass?
1 BR 655 sf, 3 appls, lrg deck, u/g prkg stall. $700 + util. *******
First - notice anything strange about the bolded areas? Anyone looking to live in the NORTHWEST will find me, but since I live in the SOUTHWEST it's not going to do a fuck of a lot of good.
Second - we discussed $800 to drop to $750 if we had to. I'm not renting this place for $700, paying his fee as well as $350 for the fucking mortgage.
So maybe on Friday when I said 'can you read the ad to me?' and you rattled it off the top of your head cause you couldn't find it, this was the wrong thing to do? Ya think?
Is the universe telling me to sell? Or is this it's way of saving me money? Cause I ain't paying for that ad.
I'm sure it's crossed all of your minds at some point that I have to be making some of this stuff up because things like this don't happen to people, right? Actually, they don't. Everyone else is safe because THEY ALL HAPPEN TO ME.
Otherwise, about half of my stuff went in the garage sale, even though it was freezing cold. Hopefully tomorrow will go well, even though it is now snowing. I'd give you more detail but I am so tired that if I sit down I will fall asleep. Since I have no desk chair - right now I'm standing.
Friday, October 15, 2004
The Obvious
We've been over that bit about how I always miss the obvious right?On my way to gleefully rack up prescriptions on my remaining two weeks of medical benefits from that place I used to work, I was chatting with Shari on the phone. Detail oriented my girl is and so she asks if I'm sure there's not some sort of limit on how much stuff I can actually pick up. A phone call to the insurance company later....
"What do you *mean* you won't pay for 11 months of birth control, seven months of Wellbutrin and two years of the bleaching cream I need for those freaky raccoon patches on my face? What?"
Unfortunately they all have a point - it's just good business sense to limit prescriptions to a three month supply, but REALLY, I could have used the break.
And thanks to Shari and her sharp common sense mind, I have just *not* spent $350 I don't have and that I wouldn't have been reimbursed for.
I know, I know, sometimes y'all wonder how I make it four blocks without being hit by a car and you shudder in abject terror at the thought that I think I can travel around the world alone ... it's fun to watch though, innit?
My New Favorite Word
I keep looking for things. You know, the 'ol, "Damn, I really need that cowbell/ broken frying pan / burnt out light bulb, and I *knew* I'd need it as soon as I threw it out" sort of thing. Except, then I realize that, whatever it is, I'm probably selling it, so I bloody well better get used to being without it right now.After the hair dreading (I have't forgotten that promised post, in fact I wrote it already! HA!!) I've been informed that I get to collect my 'winnings' for quitting smoking next week. Which has been pretty easy actually, even with all the stress. It's been made easier - I am quite sure - by the desire to never ever AGAIN be in the position to say, in regards to my boyfriend "I have been smoking as long as you have been alive."
ANYHOO, what's the prize? The winnings? The deal? A full on facial and massage at a spa. For both of us. I briefly considered a pedicure but my feet are inherently cute anyways and M2's, due to the fact that Aussies seem to have some sort of 'thing' about not wearing shoes, are far beyond the abilities of this world to ever resemble feet again.
(not that I wouldn't go shoeless if I could)
These young 'uns, they need to learn to appreciate the finer things in life and if I must sacrifice to teach this particular one, well, then, sacrifice I shall.
To add to the growing list of (these are a bunch of seperate posts) Cabot the six toed street cat has some slight ISSUES, he's taken to jumping up on my lap when I'm at the computer. Apart from the fact that my chair will be sold tomorrow and this is the last day *that'll* happen, he invariably MISSES when he jumps. Even with the 'sizing up' and measuring he takes the time to do before leaping. Misses my lap, misses the chair, misses the bed. Shouldn't cats with opposable thumbs have better balance than most?
Currently, he is sitting on aforementioned lap and repeatedly bobbing his head to jam my nipple into his eye. It's creepy. And, no I have no idea why the hell he'd be doing something like that, but it's going to stop right now.
I am off to run millions of hundreds of errands before coming home to hook up with Shari to start the setting up and the posting of signs.
One of the things I did this morning was decide that I will not leave up my shelving - partly because the drywall barely holds them so inevitably they will be torn out of the wall by some freaky tenant and partly because I have about four ounces of matching paint that should be put to good use. I wandered over to the Super 'we have every fricking thing' Drug Mart and picked up some sandpaper, scraper/flat/applying thingy, a couple cheapie paintbrushes and some .... spackle.
I love that word. I can't stop saying it.
Spackle. Spackle. Spackle. Spacklespacklespackle.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Alright, sit down, shut your gate and listen the fuck up!
(ha, just realized 'gate' is a Ken thing - or an east coaster thing. Whatever.)After another refreshing three hours of sleep, I woke up at the ungodly (well, for those unemployed people that is) hour of 8 am. And, as the cat sneezed 25 times in a row (I counted, and no I don't know what the hell was wrong with him - he's a neurotic freak), I thought, "Well, fuck you, universe. And fuck this. TODAY, everything is going to go my way. Got that? Well, do ya?"
And, you know what? .... it did.
After a brief altercation with the leasing company, we're trying again. And, although my chances for renting for November 1st are totally shot, they owe me big time now.
I finally hooked up with the HR lady, we hit it off (she's a Calgarian, that rocks) and so I have a test and interview for the job (the only job) that I actually want, on Thursday next week. Which is a $10,000 raise. Not as big as some I've applied for but really, that's a full third MORE of what I was making before and that is only good things. Ten thousand good things.
This means I shall be taking that already-paid-for flight to see M2, with a little side trip over to the rock to meet with HR - returning only three days before he drives out to pick me up.
Now with the amount of things I need to take care of here, that may strike all of us as a little irresponsible and, due to the fact that I have no money and may not actually make my next mortgage payment as well as afford to actually move to a place where I have no job, may even be downright stupid - I - quite frankly, need the stress relief. I need to relax into a few days of calm before the stress kicks in again for another month. And, although I could potentially be working that week and making enough to pay for said rental of minivan for M2 to drive out - it doesn't seem to be looking that way so far and I'm tired of waiting on other people. Besides, since this, we haven't seen each other and I think we need to, a little, to solidify the conclusions we've come to.
Besides, you wouldn't believe the brownie points I got for flying out to interview. I really want this job.
Let's digress a sec, cause I don't know that I've mentioned this before... due to the lack of knowing what I should do with my life, this executive assistant bullshit has always been a fallback position. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm good at it and it doesn't require a whole lot of mental effort on my part. Doing it as temp work where you essentially get a new job every week/month/quarter is wonderful. Don't mind that. But as a full time permanent job? I hate it. I loathe it. And eventually everyone else knows I hate it too. I miss my technical work although I do not miss the place I did it, although I appreciate that they taught me it. And this job is a combination tech/administration/training position that makes my mouth water. It's perfect. I might actually be HAPPY for more than three months in a job.
Or maybe not, but whatever, I've got a better chance with this one than I've had in a long time. And I'll be quitting to travel anyways. But... still....
Oh. Asides. Strode - I want a big mac. Bastard. In three weeks I will be a 20 minute drive from the nearest MickeyD's with no car. Although, come to think of it, I've lived four blocks from one for two and a half years and I've never been in it. Still, hungry now.
Vanessa - she was beautiful and you should be infinitely grateful that you started reading after the six months of weeping, wailing, self-pity and self-recrimination that surrounded her demise. But, I can say that now without crying. Almost. Miss her.
Lucky - yes, Cabot is coming with me, hopefully being out of the city and in the woods will help him to recover enough to be left behind without worry/guilt when I go. If not, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it and so far, I can deal with the allergy.
Where was I? Ah, someone has come by to remove my kitchen table and chairs for money. Various someone elses are coming over the next couple days to pick up the bookcase, the step machine, my desk, a table, my futon and the VCR. Which leaves me with a chair, a bed, a microwave and a washer and dryer. So, really, what the hell am I going to do next week anyways?
Tequila, serenity, a lake, dreadlocks and ... well, other stuff I am too delicate and ladylike to mention - here I come. Oh, which reminds me - the dreadlocks thing and the 'Oh god, how could you let your boyfriend do something so disgusting, aren't you embarrassed?' rebuttal post re: acceptance and recognition of the things that matter and the things that do not is percolating so I will be back with that. (Did I just promise something else I may or may not deliver. Who's got the list?)
The lake known only as "The Lake I Want to Take You To".
This post is getting to be a little nasty long but I have one more thing....
I am AGHAST at a) how much shit I've accumulated (even with the 20, count 'em, 20 black garbage bags of stuff I've thrown out) and b) where the fuck in here I've been keeping it all.
So far, 4 milk crates, two laundrey baskets, four rubbermaid containers, six boxes. A pile of shit I can't put in a box, another bookcase, a 'knicknack' rack, my desk chair, more books...... you can't even see it all. Shari's going to walk in here tomorrow night to help and turn around and walk right back out.
Oh, and that red lamp made it through two years of perfection. Till M2 lit the decorative candle sitting innocently below it, scorched it and thereby, instantly decimated the value. Men.
Gotta love 'em.
Worth a shot, I suppose
I was aiming for $800 a month, but if anyone knows a reliable human being who wants to sign a six month / one year lease directly with me, I'll go with $700.Of course, this will not help if said reliable person lives where most of you live. I'm just saying. On the off chance.
Laundrey room in the building, sauna, half-assed 'gym', u/g heated parking. 655 square feet. One bedroom. Storage/small room insuite. Honking balcony. Great view north to Nose Hill Park and east to DT. Three appliances. Picture.
Because, quite obviously the people who I'm paying, who have cashed the advertising allowance cheque but have yet to place an AD IN THE PAPER, or RETURN TWO PHONE CALLS AND AN EMAIL (except for the nasty one I sent tonight - still waiting on that) - are not doing their job.
And although I am perfectly okay with myself fucking myself around by fucking things up, the stress caused when other people do it and put my mortgage in jeopardy - I'm not so good with.
That is all. Good night.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
I Get the Feeling That The Universe is No Longer Working in My Favor
Although I dragged my ass out of bed after 4 hours of sleep and then pounded back a coffee before trying HR woman again - I missed her as she is out of town for the day.Rather than take the Dirt Devil back to the shop and pay them another $20 bucks to unclog the hose when I can only sell it for about $20 bucks, I took it apart myself. One hour and twenty minutes later it is back together, minus one part I couldn't even be arsed to put back on, minus some saline solution from my body converted into tears of frustration, minus the feeling in my legs from sitting on the floor for so long and yes, ladies and gentlemen, minus one extra screw. I'm too afraid to see if it even turns on anymore.
No word from anyone else.
The following two week email conversation with the new management company:
they: Will you still be on the board? What do we do about.... and .... (ie: I am emailing you as an OWNER and you are asking me what to do about BOARD ISSUES. How appropriate.)
me: (a week later) Please have someone confirm that this has been done.
they: What is your new address?
me: I will send it along when I have it. Please confirm.
they: Who will be paying the condo fees?
me: *sob*
Although one of the nicest things about M2 is his calm and serenity, if he tells me one more time to not be frustrated cause it doesn't do any good anyways, I am utilizing that plane ticket I can't afford but is already paid for next week to fly out there and stab him in the neck.
Although, apparantly, as I was just informed, after I dread his hair for him. This is not my idea. I guess if the only other option is to have him just let it 'happen naturally' ... you know where 12 hours of my time will be going.
Oh yeah, for the Calgarians, if I haven't already emailed you..... Garage Sale. 1240 14th Ave SW. Sat/Sun 10 - 4. Bring chocolate.
Lots of it.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Thanksgiving 1A
...didn't manage to hook up with that lady (which means I have to get up early to do it tomorrow - ack!) but try try again. Thankyou for the luck, keep it up for one more day, will ya? Utter silence from the leasing people. As well as the temp companies. Not a good day for me. And I promise to tell you stories and then I don't - I'm a turrrible bloggah.SO, interim Thanksgiving blog about a 'little thankful' as opposed to the big one I'm supposed to be writing.
It's a letter to a boy.
Since I'm tired, this may come out all wrong as it's from notes I wrote while the family kept yelling "are you writing in a journal?". But it's Thanksgiving and I have to do this before I go to bed. So.....
I just walked alone along this amazing beach through a fantastic sunset, the lake so massive you can barely see the far shore....being quiet within myself for the first time in ages. Just walking and listening to my heart.
Full circle around to the pier, walking out to the end to sit with my legs over the water, three new rocks in my hand. Total silence around me. A bite in the air. A still lake.
And I realized that I was utterly and completely at peace. Which is not something I am very often, although - to be fair, it is something I am more and more.
Underlying that peace, in my heart there is this exquisite ... something. Joy is the best word I have to describe it. Fierce leaping joy.
A joy that has never been a part of this girls heart before. There are a lot of reasons for it to be there, I know. Things all new to me that, this year, I have decided and felt and found.
And then it occurs to me that I think you have this joy in your heart all the time. I think that maybe I understand you a little better than I did before. And I envy you a little, but only for a minute, because something inside of me knows that recognizing it today is only the beginning and that now that I know it's there, I'll always be able to find it. Even if it's only a little bit when I really need it.
This is one of the things that I have been learning from you. I know this because whether or not it was always there, it has only begun to grow big enough for me to recognize since I met you.
You are a lot of things, ***, but somewhere inside of you lives the wild and true heart of a child and that is a precious thing to have and to share.
And this year, that is one of the things I am thankful for.
Of course, it lasted only until I got up the next morning. But at least I know it's there somewhere and what it feels like. And I know a little better exactly what I'm wishing for all of you, as well.
Monday, October 11, 2004
It's been....
One week since any type of tobacco has been near my person.And I haven't even cheated this time.
It's a miracle.
But, man, I'd really like a cigarette.
I will be back with Thanksgiving Part Deux but right now I'm concentrating on the phone call about the job tomorrow - I have to convince them that I can do it in a snap, piece of cake - although I have never worked on that particular system before. And, then, if I can do *that*, I have to pass a test on it.
Hopefully, every thing else as well will fall into place tomorrow. That's an awful lot to be asking though. Wish me luck.
You think?
There is no ad in the paper to rent the condo. This is not helpful. AND REALLY PISSES ME OFF.My lower back is killing me.
I should be studying.
Don't expect a whole lot from me today, kids.
Jen's Thanksgiving. Part 1.
I just ate an amazing dinner, ON this beach. Without a sweater. Which, unless you've lived in Alberta, you probably won't understand. But trust me - it was a miraculous thing. And it has amazing soft sand, despite what the photo looks like.
Ma-Me-O Beach
Besides you guys, cause I tell ya all the time, for gosh sakes - below is what I'm most thankful for this year.
BUT not for the dirty minded reasons yer all thinking. You can't fool me, stop it right now.
I am tired though, very tired, and I leave this here as Part 1, simply because he's awfully nice to look at. Tomorrow, I will come back and tell you why. When I'm a little more eloquent.
T3
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Thanksgiving
I'll be gone all day, and in fact, should be in bed rightbloodynow, but I wanted to wish you all a Canadian Thanksgiving.Usually I make a list of the things I am thankful for but I'm pretty sure I'll just bore y'all. Cause lately, they're fairly obvious. ha. Maybe in a day or two once I get over the heartache of throwing out everything from my early 20's, which is what I did tonight. For now, a couple from last year that I went back and looked up....
-books, books, glorious books
-our inherent ability to grow and learn, if only we choose to do so
And, I think it would be amazingly wonderful if all of you stopped into the comments and told me something *you're* thankful for, since you're all something *I'm* thankful for. Even if it's not Thanksgiving where you are.
