Saturday, March 20, 2004
completely diverted from a course of action
I woke up at 8 am thinking.....IKEA!!! So, we shopped instead. I bought a computer desk chair so I could stop using the kitchen chair, a new floor lamp to replace the one that broke a couple months ago and some more cutlery. The most amazing thing about that was... I actually managed to buy the matching stuff to what I already have. That's pretty big.Then I bought some spiffy new work heels. From some guy who told me if I were going to the mall and saw a pair I liked better - I could just bring them back. I tried to explain that I don't go to malls just to 'look' around but whatever, he was just a happy little fella.
Then we bought some baby stuff for Phil's bump. Not sure if they know what flavor it is, so I bought all yellow stuff. Can't go wrong there.
Then we went to Nose Hill Park. I always thought it was the largest urban park in North America but I guess only in Canada. It's all grassland (1127 hectares....scale? I dunno - Central Park in NY is 341 hectares) so it's not particularly pretty but Lacey and I used to live on the Northern End of it so it was one of 'her' places. I think she was pretty pooped by then though as we only went about 50 feet in and when I lied down to take pictures she just came over, jammed her butt up against my belly and laid with me for half an hour or so to sniff from a stationary position and watch the other walkers go by.
A friend of mine that I haven't talked to since I left thecompanythatshallnotbenamed lives up there so I pulled over to give her a call. She kept yelling, Holy shit, where the hell are you, where the hell have you been?" She thought I went travelling or left town or something. Anyways, she lives down south now so is coming over in the morning for coffee. She said she's been going through a pretty rough time so it will be good to sit down and relax instead of rushing over lunch during the week.
Then we came home and I cleaned the house and gave Herself yet another bath. I'm pretty sure I heard her muttering you gave me a bath last week you COW, what is WRONG with you? But, although I am quite fine with kissing her, I doubt anyone else would be. Especially after that ...thing... she rolled in at the park.
I didn't even get lost. Not once. There must be something wrong with me.
We shall go to Drumheller next weekend.
Happy First Day of Spring!
Friday, March 19, 2004
much accomplished
I'd forgotten how different the world looks from the inside of a car. There's a story there somewhere but ... not today. I even managed *not* to get lost! Go, me.More Lacey drugs, groceries, YJ home safely, CD of last weekend's pictures clutched in my paw. That car, though, in it's 'family-ness' makes me drive like an old woman. On the occasion or two I did happen to glance at the speedometer I was waay below the speed limit. Just...tooling...along. Gah, will have to do something about that on the highway tomorrow.
So, still much that needs to be done tomorrow before we can hit the road but, after a good little visit with CJ, I have a movie, also, to watch tonight.
Wow, YJ, I just put the pictures on slideshow. They are truly wonderful. Thank you again - I have big squinty eyed smiley face. One below. Or maybe two.
well, that solves that, then
I suppose I don't really need to worry about the large amounts of food I normally eat, as well.... I am not hungry. I am, to boot, afraid to eat. As I woke up this morning and barfed. A nauseated insomniac. Who's depressed. Where is that sign-up list for terrible side effects? I must get my name down for the shakes, sweating and motor impairment, before it's too late.Of course, if I were thinking, I wouldn't have taken that pill last night and waited until the work day was over today, before doing so. Cause, you know, after a couple of days, the side effects wear off.
Supposedly.
I did walk to work which was nice, if a bit chilly and upon arrival found extremely large amounts of new paycheck and back pay in my account. Which makes me quite 'appy.
This email exchange, while amusing, also frightened me a little.
he: so is taking the pill like changing channels?
me: dunno, 99 channels and nuthin' on. It's supposed to make me 'even'. Side effects? Puking and insomnia. Sweating. Shaking. So, I'll be 'even' but I'll be a twitchy barfy even.
But, hey, here's a weird thought. I've been depressed since you met me. Maybe you don't know the real jen at all.
Muah ha ha ha.
he: "Hi." *twitch* "I'm Jen." *barf* heh.
Depressed since I met you, huh? A few weeks from now..."Waitaminnit. You used to be moody and depressed. Now you're wearing gingham sundresses and carrying posies. WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?! WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH JEN?!!"
me: I'm not really the gingham type, thank god. I'm pretty sure I'll always be moody, don't you worry. It's a girl thing.
he: damn straight it's a girl thing. good god. oh. sorry. not editorializing.
hey, you never know about the gingham. maybe you're about to discover A Whole New You.
But man, is it fun to say I'm barfy. Everyone else likes it too. T1 just asked what I was doing for lunch and T2 (quite gleefully) shouted down the hall, "Jen's not eating. She's BARFY."
Thursday, March 18, 2004
stubborn patients & sarcastic GP's
Just sitting down to post and a knock on the door revealed one of our 'local celebrities', a news reporter from the local A Channel. Nothing as exciting as it sounds (although a puff piece on the dog would not be something I'd say no to - she needs a bath is all I really would want to say) - she lives in the building and we were on the board together last year. She too, has babysat the dog. For about a year, she thought the dog's name was Macey. I just thought it was some nickname she came up with....not so.I'm sure Lacey will start to wonder why she's become so popular.
Or maybe not. It's quite obviously her due, or so I'm sure she must think.
My doctor makes me laugh. He says....
"Remember last year at your physical when we tested everything and you were perfectly healthy? I seem to recall you were quite pissed off with me."
me: "Well, I felt like crap. I still feel like crap. I wanted you to find something wrong so we could fix it."
he: "I know, you just didn't want to hear what I thought was wrong. Although, I do appreciate how much it took for you to come back and tell me I may have been right a year later."
Total smartass. But a nice and funny one, for all that, my doctor.
Apparantly, insomnia, weight loss, lethargy, social withdrawal, an inability to concentrate and a hair-trigger temper are all classic symptoms of depression, especially when they have continued for 10 years or so. Which (hit that button...) pisses me off a little. I'm not classic *anything* pal.
Which may have been why I've been thinking I'll just get up one day and feel like running a marathon or something equally athletic and chirpy. When it's been steadily worse for at least year and a half. After battling cancer, whilst in the middle of having people die and sicken around me, buying a condo six months before I quit an amazingly well paying job and then starting all over again at half the salary and struggling my ass off, and that's just the big stuff. That's just silly, isn't it? Who makes these rules? My feeling has been when it's over, it's over. Screw the chemicals in your brain... just...get...over..it. Not the most scientific reasoning I know, but what can I say? I've been wrong before.
God forbid I should actually have something so..... reasonable and logical .... wrong with me.
I take comfort in the fact that at least I'm not the classically depressed person. I'm still fairly happy and even, dare I say, interesting and mostly, fun to be around. I don't lie in bed all day entertaining thoughts of offing myself or applying for a gun licence so I can off those smelly people on the bus.
Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea, that.
just kidding
So, he says he thinks Prozac will be good cause it'll make me happy.
erm, buddy, I am happy. Are you looking at my smily face and the laugh lines around my eyes which are just getting deeper? Besides, they gave me that once when I was 20 or so and it first came out and *whoa* there's 10% of the population that it causes to be homicidal or something. Guess which percentage I'm in? Not such a good couple of months 15 years ago. Although, I'm sure after all this time, the families of the slain would be over it by now.
We settled on something to address the snappiness and get me back on a regular sleep schedule. And, hopefully make me a little more ..a little more..erm..what was I saying? Oh yeah, able to concentrate. He obviously knows me fairly well cause the first thing he said when handing it to me was...."This came from Europe. It's only been available here for about three years."
Cause my immediate knee jerk response (and I apologize for this) is that I don't want anything the Americans invented. Which made *him* laugh.
So, although you guys don't see me get all pissed off ten times a day or so, then gee, soon you still won't see it. Must be comforting, hey?
Although, the danger is there that I'll become an automaton with absolutely nothing interesting to say, no feelings about anything whatsoever and no emotional reaction even to someone running me over in the crosswalk.
I have mentioned before that I hate pills, right? Especially synthetic stuff. I'm all good with vitamins and minerals and well.... mushrooms ... cause they're all natural.
I forgot to ask him if this rocking metabolism where I can eat anything I want and still lose weight will be affected, but I guess it's logical that I shouldn't be eating a pound of veggies, a cup of rice and a steak the size of my HEAD for dinner every night.
My funny little doctor then offered to write me a scrip for sleeping pills (may as well throw addiction potential in there too) and I guess the look on my face was enough as he made me promise to drink warm milk before I go to bed.
Which made both of us laugh.
is it only Thursday?
Today was an "I don't live in your world day". I stayed in bed until 11 before coming here and being touched and amazed at you, me, all of us, all over again, and emailing my portion of the proposal in to work before retiring back to the couch for a lie down with little Miss MutterMumbleTwitch. It's 2:15 and I just now managed to clean the carpets and put in a load of laundrey as Lacey readjusts her snoring self into my vacated spot and continues to drool happily on her pillows.
I sent out an email to the people around here who've known Herself to give them the option of coming by to see her if they'd wish and I received a few very nice emails back. Which of course, prompted the carpet cleaning, as people are actually coming by.
Most strangely, (or not, I can't quite decide) is Nate. YJ knows the story of Nate but I don't feel like telling it so the rest of you will be in the dark on this one. I haven't seen him for a while - I think the last time was at our pub crawl last July so there is a picture of him over in the first gallery. He too has lived here with Herself when I've gone away and god knows what they got up to while I was gone. For all that he's this HUGE and vaguely forbidding looking human being he is one of the gentlest and sweetest people I know. Which constantly amazes me. Although, his tendency when 'dropping by' is to show up at 3 or 4 am, crawl into bed with me and fall fast asleep, whereupon my sleep is shot for the rest of the night as he's one of those people who bicycle all night in their sleep. Can't remember what it's called although annoying comes to mind, as well as a few other not so nice words. It is only our history and continuing friendship that has saved his life. Trust me.
I also decided that on Saturday we would go east. My first instinct is always to go west but that I have done a million times and will be doing yet again on the 30th. North, well, north around here just ...sucks. South is not so bad but I did that last August on the road trip to Seattle with Billy. So, East to Drumheller and the dinosaurs it is. Which means I should find a map cause it's not on the ol' TransCanada highway but rather one eerily named #9. (I don't know why that's eerie, it just is). That site I just found has some really great photos of the Calgary skyline too.
Lo, the bus awaits and I must be off.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
little bitty pieces of a day
Or alternatively: I just can't shut up today, can I?I would like to go on official record as someone who wore green today. I would normally not feel the need to indicate this but due to the overwhelming amount of grade-school pinching (or shenanigans, if you wish) that I was subjected to today - being dressed all in black, but, I was wearing green. Deliberately. I woke up this morning, got out of the shower and chose to wear a pair of green contacts. (mostly cause my clear ones have been hurting lately - may be time to change those puppies - but whatever, I just didn't want to put them in). So, yes, I put something on (in) that was green. So, stop pinching me already.
She will run out of antibiotics and anti-inflammatory/painkillers both on Friday and I wasn't quite sure if we needed to continue the antibiotics for the last two weeks but her doctor is quite certain things would deteriorate quite quickly without them. And that is just...well...ick. He asked if I were giving her lots of treats and I had to admit that we're aiming for at least an extra four pounds before the big day. Dr. Evans (for that is his name) wanted to know when I was bringing her in and I felt a need to apologize as, although he has been her vet for only just over a month in lieu of her seeing her regular vet, I have opted to have her regular vet put her down. Who has so kindly agreed to come in on a day off to do so.
We had a little bit of a.... discussion as my indication that she was doing quite well was met with ..."Well, of course, you can always postpone it." and I find it extremely difficult to explain that what I feel right with is having her leave on a high note. That to put it off and then put myself through this all over again while she deteriorates (and goes through it too) is just something I, honestly, don't feel up to facing. I think it's best that once your mind is made up - to stick with it.
There are three things that make me positive about this. 1. It's a fairly well-documented fact that pets (and humans) rally before they finally go down and I firmly believe she knows, somewhere inside, what's going on 2. She's drugged. Of course she's damn happy. Wouldn't you be? and 3. I have become quite attached to the idea of sending her to be with Tanys. Not that there's a time frame on that, but.....
Oh, which makes me think of this, included below, (sorry, man) because I like the way that YJ sees things. (OJ, btw, is me. It means Obi-Jen, cause at one time I suppose I was somewhat, briefly, wise)
it was kind of a strange experience, i have to say. the reason being is that her dog has cancer, and oj made the difficult decision to have her put down. her dog's been her companion for umpteen years, and despite a couple of obvious tumors, Herself looks and acts fine. so she asked me to take some pics and document the two of them doing what they do.
so we went to a park that was relatively nearby (after i demonstrated that my navigation skills in this city, after four years of being confined to transit routes, is really the shits), and shot just over 80 frames. got a few really good shots. some of them were a little blurry, though, because the camera gets slow when it gets cold. it was supposed to be a nice day, but it clouded over, and a ridiculously cold wind decided to make an overly long appearance.
after driving her and her puppy back home, it struck me that this was not only the first time i'd met her dog, but it would be the last time i'd ever see her dog. i guess that vibe had kind of clung to me all day, which made me feel a bit awkward, but just then, as Herself snuffled and wandered around the parking lot, it just kind of hit me. she'd been doing her thing all day, you'd never know that she was so sick. anyway, it struck me as very sad. i can't imagine what it took for oj to make peace with the idea, and still function every day. (i know it's not that simple, or easy, but still.)
But, you and YJ know exactly how I came to make peace with the idea, because you've been along on that particular funhouse ride, haven't you?
Of course, after the conversation with the vet, I had to sit and beat down all those little phantoms that appeared to whisper are you *sure* you're doing the right thing? what ifffff?.... is this what you really want?
Of course not. Assholes.
The funny thing is...I always thought I'd outlive her. Tony:there and I have had the conversation about acting like the Egyptians and having her killed and buried with me. We have. No shit.
When I bought them, they fit perfectly. But I crouched down for some reason or another, and when I stood up, the pants, mostly, did not come with me.
So, I too, am off to the doctor tomorrow. So he can poke my skinny little thighs and my fat little belly and exclaim that I look vaguely like an Ethiopian. Except that the fat belly is from the large amounts of food I'm constantly jamming in all day long, to no avail. It worries me that my friends are worried I'm sick again because I am thinner every time I see them, so I dunno, we'll see what he says. Cause I'm not. Sick again, I mean. But I have been steadily losing weight for the last year and I think I am at ...just...almost... that point where it starts to become a larger issue.
Phil babysat once for me while I was away for a few days and the three of us took a road trip together in 2002 so it was wonderful today to hear her launch into an "fatass - tiny head" story when I told her what was going on. Right before she immediately set a time and day to come by. I don't see her enough and unfortunately, the truth is, won't see her any more often after the baby is born. But I cherish her greatly.
"Whatever, buddy, I'm just a peon. It's not MY name going on that thing. I'll be right there."
lyric at post:
..I am an ordinary guy, burning down the house..
why don't you just get lost?
Spending my years from 13 (when I managed to convince my mother that I *needed* to be able to drive cause we lived on a farm and what if something happened to her? - man, she was easy) until I moved to Alberta at 26 - I was never without some sort of vehicle. I think I truly did believe that I would be unable to survive if I couldn't drive.In moving here, arriving as I did jobless, unemployment insurance-less and in the middle of my very first real winter - I honestly didn't leave Rob's house at all for the first two months - I never have gotten around to getting a car and so my entire world revolves around the twenty or so square blocks that encompass the things I need to live a fairly contented life - that I can walk to. For me, those things are grocery store, liquor store, the downtown mall, at least two used bookstores, a place to get my hair cut and a water source (ie: the river). For six years I've lived within this current radius, which I only leave if someone forcibly removes me (erm... picks me up and drives me.)
My friends are used to hearing: "Yeah, love to come meet you but it's outside my twenty blocks." Let's face it, any farther than that and I'm trapped by having to pay for a cab, waiting for someone with a car to want to leave or a myriad of other annoying things. All of a sudden I have to depend on someone's good graces and frankly, after being that person most of my life pre 'foot locomotion phase', I KNOW how annoying it is to have someone hovering in the background giving you meaningful glances when you're having the time of your life. People with cars can 'pop' home after work to let out the dog and then be back in 20 minutes, anything like that is a large and unwieldy undertaking for the automotively challenged.
But I digress. What I'm meaning to explain here is that possessing a touchy sense of direction that only has only worsened over the years results in some strange multiplication of said faulty compass when my ass hits the seat of a car. I routinely rent cars but only for long drives, meaning I almost immediately hit the highway and don't spend any time dicking around by cruising the city streets. It's a bit hard to get lost on a highway that goes right across the country you live in (and is called the #1 from coast to coast). Although, in the past I have managed it a time or two when I've had to take an exit for some reason or another.
I have some running around that must be done this weekend and in checking out the weather forecast (which is bad), factoring in my inherent weekend laziness (which is great) and the desire to spend as much time in close proximity to the dog as possible (which is imperative) - I booked a car for 24 hours.
After the errands are run, Herself (who adores car rides and whom I adore to car ride with for many reasons, one being - loud music does not a stone deaf dog annoy) and I will be endeavoring to joyfully get completely fecking lost.
I would classify it as a day trip but due to the weather forecast there's no point in getting out of the car and so there will be no clear destination. We will just pick a direction and see where it takes us because half the fun of life is finding things you didn't even know you were looking for.
Besides, getting lost gracefully is a skill and a talent we all need a refresher course in, every once in a while, even those of us who are considered 'expert' class.
lyric at post:
..don't get your back up over this, if I'm so wrong and you're so right..
flailing
We're driving along after the funeral, me in the passenger seat, hands flapping as I try to explain the theory of the day to Tony:here. In an ambigious way it's about someone I think may be either stupid or a liar. Although not wanting to think either of those things about this particular person, I'm torn because I have no other options available to me at this point.Tony:here launches into a Jen as lawyer closing argument, which sadly, I cannot remember but was funny as hell, before turning to me and saying, "You have this amazing ability to see both sides of the story and then sit firmly in the middle. My legs would always be asleep if I were such a good fence sitter."
(I just have to say here - I'm not a fence sitter. I just believe that in any given situation, there are things I *don't* know that could change everything and so I try to keep an open mind and see the other side. Just for the record.)
I got the feeling he just wasn't getting my point. Or maybe he was.
It was a nice and very personal funeral with an amazing turnout - I think about 300 people.
My father is antagonistic....no wait, agnostic? Oh, ATHEIST. Doesn't believe in god. My mother would be whatever the majority is in the UK...Roman Catholic? I guess. Anyways, I obviously was never taught any sort of religious belief. Nor have I been baptised or been in a church with any member of my family. My sister was married by a justice of the peace and my brother had a ceremony but it was outside in his back yard and was whatever his wife's religion was. We've had two deaths in the family, both with no services.
I remember when I was six or so I asked my parents if I could go to Sunday school with my best friend, Wayne, who lived next door. I was curious. I wanted to know what it was all about. It was decided that I would attend with him after our family vacation to Seattle.
I clearly remember being in the hotel room in Seattle and hearing my mother say, "John, we have to remember to get a bible for Jennifer to take to Sunday school."
My father, a man of very few words, reached over into the dresser beside the bed and handed me the big green Gideon bible.
Upon returning home, I attended Sunday School with this *stolen bible*. I went exactly five times - long enough to get my own legitimate red bible. And long enough to find out that they didn't have answers to my 'impertinent' questions.
I've never been able to throw that Gideon one away. A few years ago we had a guy working with us who was travelling about from New Zealand and in talking about this sort of stuff, he told me his father was a Gideon. I related the story before asking him if I could give it to him - return it to the Gideons - so to speak. And Tony (yet another one) said, "Jen, it's okay, I think that's the whole reason they leave them."
And 28 years of guilt just ... evaporated. I'm not even sure where the darn thing is now.
Anyways, the reason I was thinking about this is because I've been to funerals of people who, like me, had no history with any sort of religion nor any strong religious beliefs - yet the funerals themselves were ALL about the hymms, the prayer, the priest. And that makes me wonder about the reasoning. Is it meant to comfort the surviving members of the family? What if they weren't religious either? Is it one of those 'just in case' scenarios? You know - I never believed, really, but what if I was *wrong?* Is it done because that's what's expected?
Tony:here thought that it provides comfort in a traditional way to the people who are left behind. In Tanys' case most of the people she left behind are from my generation. Nontraditional, nonreligious. I found much more comfort in the poem that Dave wrote, the personal eulogy given by her best friend and the slide show they had of Tanys than I got from the prayers and the hymms from a priest who probably didn't know her very well.
There was one quote that summed her up pretty well for me, who is more of a friend of Dave and had not spent a lot of time with her- "Come ON, let's go." Let's go have fun. Let's go live. Let's just go.
I'm not saying that I in any way think other people shouldn't be part of an organized religion. I have my own little strong belief system I've cobbled together over the years - it's just not an organized religion, per se, and frankly, will never make me a visionary nor a prophet. I haven't put any thought into my own funeral but considering that almost no one I know actually considers themselves religious, would those things comfort them and really, in the end, shouldn't the funeral be about what I believed? Or at least about the things I think would provide comfort? Or is that just selfish?
I find it a little sad, somehow, that these decisions are mostly left to the people you've left behind. I do have one friend who already has her funeral all planned, every detail, just because she wants it done the way she wants it done. Does one make one's final decision in this life to appease tradition or is that just mostly how it ends up?
I would like to leave a happy and lasting impression as my final contribution. I sort of like the idea of a great big party, in a cosy old pub, with lots of scotch and tequila and a couple of faeries flitting about. Maybe a little covert snogging going on in the darker doorways. Considering one religious person I know who, when they found out I'd never been baptised, declared that no matter what I did with the rest of my life I'd most assuredly go to hell - would it really matter?
Am I sitting on the fence?
So many questions. And not an answer in sight. Although I guess in regards to questions like these, the only truth is the one in your heart.
I woke up yesterday morning and my first thought was, "I'm going to Tanys' funeral today."
My second thought was, "She loved animals and in 13 more days I can send Lacey to take care of her so that neither of them will have to be alone."
And it was *that* thought that was true in my heart.
Monday, March 15, 2004
observance
In thinking about this today, in addition to being there tomorrow to support Dave in any way I can, there are a few ways I can honor Tanys' memory. None of which I really feel like sharing with anyone as the things I loved about her and the things she has left with me are just a bit too personal and complex to adequately explain.Since silence is not an option in real life, I'll be observing blog silence tomorrow.
It seems a bit silly, I guess, but it's all I can think to do.
I do have a request though: take a minute to think about someone you care for and how they have touched your life. Someone you don't see every day, or even every month, someone who may not even realize that they've given you something you cherish - for this is a sudden and awful reminder that, unexpectedly and for no preventable reason, they may not be here tomorrow.
I'll see you Wednesday or so.
Tanys
...thinking about how short our lives truly are. We should all be so lucky to know someone like Tanys, a absolute sweetheart who lived a life full of her own joy which she unconditionally shared with us.ANDERSON _ Tanys Marie 1971 - 2004
Tanys Marie Anderson of Calgary passed away suddenly but peacefully at the Foothills Medical Centre on Thursday, March 11, 2004, with many family members and friends at her side, five days after celebrating her 33rd birthday.
Tanys enjoyed softball, skiing and spending time with family, friends and her two cats. Her bright blue eyes, infectious smile and warm personality will be missed by all. Tanys is survived by very special friend and soul mate, David Genoway; her mother Sandy Anderson; sister and brother-in-law, Heather and Kevin Slusarenko; and her father and stepmother, Gary and Norma Anderson. Sharing their grief are Lola and Erhart Nagel, Grandma Anderson, Eve Nielson, Kara and Dwayne Fenton, Leslie and Robert Enz, Bernie and Gladys Evans, Janice and Brian Mokray, Sharon and Darrel Metz, Jim and Annette Waletsky, Penny Colvin and Mike Eisner, Jen and Kathy, Auntie Linda, and extended families and many friends past and present. Tanys was predeceased by Grandpa Anderson and Grandpa Waletsky, Bobbi-lee and Gregory Anderson, and by Donna Summers.
- Iyanla Vanzant
Sunday, March 14, 2004
home again
We are pooped. The collective 'we'. The munchkin was such a good little subject although the weather did not cooperate. The sun came out, the sun went in. YJ took about 60 pictures - I don't think one was in sunshine. But, no matter, they looked great on that little screen on the camera. I even managed to not hate how I look. A job well done. And Lacey got her first tire swing ride and a turn down the slide.I feel a bit bad that Herself and I don't go to parks more often as she obviously enjoyed it, but I always think they are all too far away for her to walk to. Even on the way back to the car today she was dragging me around. Too much worry on my part I guess.
In case anyone has been thinking that I live with this poor invalid sick dog that desperately needs to be put out of it's misery, YJ can attest that the horrifying posts are based mostly upon my fear and my memories of her more active days and that the only animal cruelty and torture has been all done to and by the two legged one in the house.
The other dream I had was that Lacey and I were walking down some city street and were accosted by the 'doggie makeover police' who did her all up in dress pants, a belt that made her look like she had a waist, a great big pink floppy hat with flowers and a tie under the chin (which I remember her trying to rub off on a building) and the cutest little pink ballerina heeled slippers. She was quite a hit at the party we went to after.
Weird.
And, now, we rest.
On a jet plane
Sometimes I forget that people come by here that I don't know, that this is a public place - not the little (mostly) sunny breakfast nook in my head, but that Starbucks down on the corner. And then I get a really nice email from a total stranger and I remember. Thank you, it's a wonderful thing to wake up to on a Sunday morning.I dreamt that I was going to the UK - I got to the airport check in and my passport was issued in 1984 - which puts it long past it's 'good by' date - but they only asked to see my drivers licence. I figured that on the way back to Canada, they wouldn't deny me entrance if they did ask for my passport so I just went ahead and got on the plane.
Despite the daily changing and conflicting weather reports this past week it is a gorgeous day outside, which makes mine and YJ's job quite a bit nicer. I'm off to brush and fluff her highness and then do something with myself. This is an important exercise today - it's our last picture day - and so I'm all undecided. She's completely black, so do I wear white (for the contrast) although I'll be black too by the end of it, do I wear black even though that'll just make us blended in together or do I wear gray and hope that's a nice middle ground? And what about a jacket? sheesh. Maybe I'll just ask the master photographer, let him figure it out.
lyric at post:
..july thunder, something's undercover
something's lost, something ain't right..
