Saturday, February 28, 2004
thirteen blissful hours
I haven't had that much natural non-something induced sleep in ages. It was wonderful. I have the urge to spring clean the house, rip everything apart and put it back together. Maybe get rid of some of the clutter. I'm sure if I put it off for another hour, have some more coffee and write the thing in my head that's been banging around - it'll pass.I need to grocery shop and though it is another beautiful day, I'm not sure I want leave the house. Look at how all that sleep makes me so indecisive.
Or I could just sit here and watch Morpheus abort downloads.
I also have about five different sorting things to do. Gah, I've even boring myself.
But, G, you got the house!!!! Yay!!!
lyric at post:
..Steal me, deal me, anyway you heal me
Maim me, tame me, you can never change me
Love me, like me, come ahead and fight me
Please me, tease me, go ahead and leave me..
Thursday, February 26, 2004
and the tide rolls in
My life has always been chock full of incredibly nasty things, I seem to attract it no matter what I'm doing. The saving grace is that eventually the tide turns and incredibly good things happen. I don't expect them too and I don't ever believe they are going to happen but somehow they always do. I've become better over the years at accepting that this is the balance of my life.The little stories of my life may not always have a happy ending but they always seem to come to a satisfactory conclusion. One that makes a colorful and interesting tale, once I've stepped far enough back to find the humor in the telling.
I can't remember a time when there was a prolonged period of calm. I could give a hundred examples of that very thing and eventually I may get around to telling some of them. My favorite one, which I tend to think of as...."the clown who came to stay, and very possibly saving my life, left - never to be seen again" will probably be the first. When people ask me to tell a story about selflessness or unexpected grace, it's the one that I always return to.
Anyways, I'm off to bed but the reason I'm here, briefly, is to say that today one of those incredibly fortuitous things came to pass. Not a miracle cure for an old dog, not a commitment from my job, nothing to change the plans for next month - but something that has negated the financial strain and lifted the biggest weight from my shoulders so that I can truly put myself *into*and enjoy the next four weeks. (Herself is doing incredibly well, btw.) Coupled with the end of the weekly condo meetings and tripled by yj's gift of time, skill and self, I think I can smell a change in the wind.
Which is really, really cool, and very, very welcome.
shug-rrrrr
After the coffee cake and the banana muffin for lunch, I've been desperately trying to avoid the quadruple chocolate cake in the lunchroom (we're a little spoiled here) due to the lesson of the sugar-slumping a few days ago. Not to mention the inherent danger of eventually becoming the 900 lb wonder lady.Which actually looks fab-u-lous dahling. The hair, I mean. (You'll have to trust me on that one, there will be no pics until after the 15th of March).
Alas, I caved in during a trip into the den of temptation for some water.
Now, I'm back at my desk and considering what I'd look like bald.
*deep breath, chanting quietly....sugar tears down impulse control barriers, sugar tears down impulse control barriers, deep breath*
Having finished all eshie's books except one, I am now also reading 'Searching for Certainty - Inside the New Canadian Mindset' co-written by someone at my company. Wheeeee.
Actually, so far it's pretty interesting.
Ohh, let's do that again. Wheeeeeee. hee hee hee, too...much...sugar..eyes...all...wobbly.
I did, however, walk TO work this morning, although my pants are thin and it was colder than it felt when I walked the dog (-9Celcius), so by the time I got here, my bum was quite chilled and numb.
And, although I know that it is impossible to 'catch-up' on sleep, I slept more than my usual 4 hours last night for a whole whopping SEVENpointFIVE. And I'm still weaving about like a bobble head toy.
Pornyboy - just for you, I've compromised and I'd tell you where I changed the site to reflect the analogy but I honestly don't know what that part of my site is called. In the template it's 'title' and it shows up along the bottom of the browser window. OH, could it be called 'the title'?
I really need to go home now. Whew.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
OIC
Okay, you crack me up. And I know I said I was going to bed but I'm waiting for laundrey. Besides, I'm wide awake now. So, I'm making some "Philosopher's Brew". Which some may, rightly or wrongly, call a tea. But, technically, it's grass. LEMONgrass. Or even more technically, an herbal infusion (with a question to purplepen at the bottom this post). With some lavender, rosehips and citrus peel for good measure. Which I have to get more of next month cause I can only buy it in Victoria.Finding myself oftentime unable to make less intelligent....er.....people without good listening skills understand my point (and frequently, I have one, quite) I tend to use lots of analogies in day-to-day life. It works and it's sort of fun to make them up. PB has graciously analogized "aggregrator" for those of us little baby geeks who were just not picking up what he was putting down. The entire post and ensuing comment confusion is here. The bit I'm interested in is below:
Your site is GOUDA. I like Gouda. I also like STILTON, which is bandhag's site, and DANISH BLUE, which is Jen's site. (In fact, you all might want to think of changing the names of your sites for the duration of this analogy, seeing as you're in the mood for doing what I ask. It would be helpful, cheers.) I don't like ASDA'S SMARTPRICE MILD CHEDDAR though, it sucks.
On my CHEESEBOARD (aggregator) I have all the cheeses I like, instead of on a bunch of separate PLATES (browser windows).
And whenever there's new CHEESE created by THE CHEESE PRODUCERS I like, it appears on my CHEESEBOARD without me having to go looking for it first.
Then I EAT (read) all the CHEESES (updates) with my MOUTH (eyes).
So, *of course* I had to go look up danish blue. It would take a better man than me to resist. And here's what I got....
What? Less complex? I'm simple? Not quite as moody? There are others out there MORE moody than I lately? Unevenly.....ahh, who am I kidding..... it's actually quite perfect, isn't it? ;) I'm weirdly flattered. And warm. Well, that could just be that I drank my infusion too fast...
So, question for e cause she's our teacherbritishslangexpert who graciously answers my questions. I write like I talk (let's not get into that right now) and I would say AN herbal infusion. Cause it's an ERBAL infusion. But, is that right? And how then, is it to be written?
These are the questions that consume me. Help.
lyric at post:
..we spotted the ocean, at the head of the trail
where are we going? so far away
somebody told me, that this is the place, where everything's better and everything's safe..
general bitching and something, not
In the general springtime-feeling way of things I realized today it was time to have my annual physical. Which, strangely enough, last year, when they ran every single blood test known to man (and a few only for horses), I came up as a freakishly healthy specimen. Perfect blood sugar, low 'bad' cholesterol, high 'good' cholesterol.....you get the idea, right? Since I still have tonsils and an appendix, it's never the little stuff that gets me so I try to go at the same time every year. I phoned my GP....."Sure, we can book you an appointment for a physical but Dr. C only does them on certain days so we're currently booking for .... September."
Can you believe that? I would've booked at last years' if I'd known that. Freaks. While I have absolutely no issues around the care I received when it was critical, this is something that managed to shock me into speechlessness. Thank god Alberta has the best care in Canada (so they say) and a surplus budget every year. Our standards are pretty low, I guess.
I am about to go to the 8 billionth weekly condo board meeting. 'Nuff said, there.
Then I am coming back up here, taking the dog for her walk and going right to bed. I was going to move a bunch of my mp3's to the USB so I can burn some cd's at work for my trip but that can wait. Herself had a bath this evening and she'll be ready to curl up and shiver (whatever couldn't be blowdried by her hour long mad dash around the condo) herself dry. She smells so good and is so soft after a bath though....ahhh.
T1 confirmed that we find out our raises on the 15th. One can only hope they do the right thing and recognize the inherent justice of 'wage equity'. And here...is the understatement of the month.....the waiting sucks though.
And yj. I know you know how important this is to me and I know I probably, in a nice way, gave you no choice but it does need to be said... I will never be able to adequately express what this means to me and what it means that you, specifically, are doing it. Especially now when I'm exhausted beyond coherency. Thank you from behind the sandbags. I promise not to cry. In front of anyone, anyways.
'Night.
lyric at post:
..days when I could live my life without you, without you..
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
wandering about, slathered in vaseline & trying not to drip on the floor
...my god, you people have dirty minds.Without really considering the fact that I had the aforementioned afternoon slump due to the fact that the food I ate after the meeting (ie: lunch) consisted of a huge cinammon bun, a danish and three pieces of banana bread, on the way home - I decided to dye my hair. God save us from the lows of a sugar rush.
After being a brunette for three years and finally deciding to pack my hair dying days in for eternity last June and resigned to keeping my fine blonde locks forever, it must currently be hard to navigate through hell due to the looming icebergs.
Cause in 30 minutes, I'll be a brunette again.
Or, more specifically, Loreals #63, "dark auburn". How mysterious.
afternoon slump
I'd like the name of the guy who just snuck up behind me and hit me with the sleepy stick. No, really I would. I'd like him to come back this evening as I hit my second wind, about 10 minutes past my bedtime and whack me again. I would very much appreciate it. If you see him, can you let him know I'm looking for him?In the absence of having any exciting work to do, as opposed to the bor-yawn-ing stuff I usually try to put off, I'm here. Again.
I stopped by Mat's office for a diversion and he roped me into ad-testing. Which just makes me belligerent. "Why do you like that ad? Would it make you go to the event? Don't you think that half-naked guy is sexy? What about the ad speakssssss to you?"
We have this radio station here in Calgary that's catch phrase is.... "Playing what we want." One does not often hear the same song twice and sometimes the most suprising stuff. T1 and I play this game in the mornings (as we both listen to it before work) of who can come up with the most 'our teen years' of songs they played that day (being close to the same age, although he definitely wins for maturity low-level). You know, 'Asia - Heat of the Moment', 'Mathew Wilder - Break My Stride'. Today it was 'Six Months in a Leaky Boat' by Split Enz. Before the meeting in the boardroom I wandered in to make sure that it was all set up and he was crawling around on the floor in his suit singing and taping wires underneath the table. He knew all the words to it. I'd pinch his cheeks if he didn't hold my salary level in his hand. Maybe I should anyways. He really is a delightful person.
I see it is warmer here than in London by 7F. Ha! I'm not laughing at you guys, but at Accent Boy who flew there yesterday. And I'm only laughing cause I'm overtired. Normally, I wouldn't. Really. So, all you Londoners, if you see any Australians, say hello will ya? Cause chances are one in eight million it's the one who just left Canada, but, honestly it's the nice thing to do. And don't you want to do nice things for others? C'mon, you know you want to be nice. Even I can't be maudlin, depressed and dramatic for more than an hour at a time.
I'm linking to this because I'll bet it's almost universally true among those of us over 27 or so, and I think it should be officially a blogger procedure. Also, copying it below, in case you can't be arsed to clicky click.
When looking for new interesting blogs, I use my own three second process for deciding whether or not click away.
1) Is the back ground black, dark red, or some other violent colour? Click away- 1 second
2) Is it written in a random mixture of caps and lower case, with txt mSg spK tHrwn n Fr gd mSRe? Urgh urgh, I feel dirty! CLICK AWAY- 0.5 of a second!! (often goes with 1)
3) Does the writer have a poor sense of spelling?- skim read first post on page- if boring, or about college friends, make-up, or teenage angst, click away- 3 seconds.
4) Pictures of scantily clad mystical looking figures? 0.5 of a second.
5) Pictures of tits (the appendage not the bird, NiC)? 0.5 seconds unless text with it, in which case I use #3 test.
6) whole page full of memes and quizzes- 2 seconds
The ones most likely to catch my attention are the ones with paragraphs, and which demonstrate some knowledge of punctuation, grammar and spelling. Those are the ones I gravitate towards, it seems.
And, for my part, to be honest I would be compelled to add... people who use regional phrases that fascinate me. We've been over this before, I know, my weird captivation around other accents. (don't even get me started on the whole 'big-head' compulsion - I'll talk about that one day - my friends think it's funny as hell). I'm one of those people who pick up accents. Not in an over the top way, more subtle like. After a month in England as a pre-teen, no one could understand me when I came home (I don't imagine being of british ancestry hurts) but spend time around newfies and, well, there you go. I spent an entire night in Ft. Lauderdale one summer making all the Americans talk to me but there were too many dialects and I ended up sounding like a ultra-urban backwoods Kentuckian, slightly skewed towards New Yawk by the next morning. It passes eventually and I do it unconsciously - it's not something I can pick up if I concentrate on doing it - I think it just comes from being so captivated by other countries.
Call it strange and a little weird if you like, but I prefer to think of it as part of my quirky charm. *glare*
I think I should go have a cup of tea.
lyric at post:
..She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change..
only a baby
Alright, PB, that's done it. I read through the blogger documentation as I was stuffing my face from the morning meeting and much to my ....erm....delight, found that I was already enabled. So, I've added the link down over there, to the right. Now, stop, or you'll make me cry - I'm only a little baby geek.Check cremation off the to do list.
Oh, I mean, it's not done but I've talked to 'them' about it. One guy was definately more grieving-owner friendly than the other, it must be pointed out. He even said I could have the vet release the body to me and take it out there to place in the ....oven... myself. I don't think I'd go that far though. I don't really need *that* much closure. I've buried enough animals out on the farm to be quite okay with letting someone else deal with the body.
I feel better about the look in here today, but buggershitepiss I can't figure out where the 'current' archive notation went, I'm having issues with the line down there and the spacing on the third lyric line - cause there's no differentiation between them. Yeah, that one. Down there.
Other than that, I'm very busy, doing things. Job-like things. And, now I'm off to do more of them. Those job-like things. So, there.
lyric at post:
..she is perfect in that fucked up way
that all the magazines
seem to want to glorify these days..
Monday, February 23, 2004
this is what happens
WHEN YOU DON'T BACK UP YOUR GODDAMN TEMPLATEyup, yup, I'm yelling...
*sigh* I just lost my entire front page. *poof* gone.
I have no idea what I did, but I've just had to start from scratch - man it's hard to remember how you did things 5 months ago.....it looks all funny to me now.
I may try and fix some more of it before I strangle myself with the mouse cord...or I may just go to bed.
lyric at post:
..is this what you need what you wanted me to be always loved me strapped to you lock it down and drive me through..
download, downtime, downshift
I hate it when kazaa 'needs more sources'. gahhh.In the inevitable up and down emotional cycling and recycling of any given moment, I think I'm finally becoming a little more okay with the idea. I spoke to both Lacey's vets today about her status (man, I'll miss them when we won't see them anymore) and firmed up the dates when her regular one will be in over the next few weeks, for, although I did like the 'new guy', he can't quite compare to her regular vet, who only works one day a week and every other Saturday.
The task list for this week includes talking to the cremation guy about notice and when they can return her to me, hopefully it'll be before I've gone roadtripping as I'd hate to leave her that long in the care of strangers (you're obviously not paying attention if you think I'm letting them sell her to a farmer for fertilizer...not that there's anything wrong with that...)
It seems fitting that she will remain a part of my life, having been the most important part of it for so long. And no, I will not be having her stuffed. I'll bet some of you thought that would be the next bright idea (ha!). I may be an emotional and dramatic girly but, really, that's just....creepy. I don't imagine she would appreciate the death jokes and the cutie little morbid nicknames she's gotten over the last couple weeks if she could hear me, but, whatever gets me through, I say. Which brings to mind a quote...
James Thurber
Work felt a little more normal today and I'd tell you the story told today about T2 having a public shouting match with our PM, except I probably shouldn't. heh.
lyric at post:
..beneath the stain of time, the feeling disappears,
you are someone else, I am still right here..
looping
Tucking myself into bed last night and picking up yet another of my lovely books from eschie - short stories by Neil Gaimon - I managed to read 75% of it before finally feeling seep-y enough to turn out the light.Except, two or three of the stories quoted another childhood-remembered song.
give me your answer do!
I'm half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won't be a stylish marriage,
I can't afford a carriage,
But you'll look sweet
On the seat
Of a bicycle built for two!
That man knows from horror, does he not? At least the little teapot has been relegated to the choir.
Our office building houses one of the federal courthouses a couple of floors down, and today we have the 'pleasure' of hosting Mr. Jean Chretien (former prime minister of our lovely country) as he is testifying in some sort of somethingorother with the First Nations people. I, personally, have no urge to meet him, he always annoyed me and even if I *were* someone who voted I never would have voted for him anyways. He never did much like the western provinces - it must be quite a shock to actually have to spend a day here.
It is pretty interesting though to hear the FN actually speaking in their own language in the corridors. I don't know if this is indicative of an eastern upbringing but on the west coast the natives I knew would be hard pressed to even speak five words.
I was one of those freakishly smart kids (well, at first anyways) who always did the 'enriched' classes in elementary and I actually did take a course and learn quite a bit of the Bella Coola language. I don't think any of it lasted past puberty though as I'll be damned if any of it rings a bell.
I almost defended PB's right to be obsessed with his own genitals but that's just maternal instinct kicking in, I'm sure he's much more capable than I am and so I'll leave that in his own hands. So to speak.
lyric at post:
..Yes, it's true that I believe, I'm weaker than I used to be
I wear my heart out on my sleeve and I forget the rest of me..
Sunday, February 22, 2004
nursery rhymes
I've had "I'm a little teapot" running through my head all day.Do people go insane from that?
Maybe it's because I bought a little teapot yesterday so I think the best thing to do, is make some tea.
Right, then, bye.
lyric at post:
..it's been one week since you looked at me,
cocked yor head to one side
and said, "I'm angry"..
