Friday, September 10, 2004
Such a good family
Oh right. They're not.Because I may not have mentioned this, but I'm not looking for jobs here. At all.
Does it seem like there's a lot I'm not mentioning lately? Ah. Right. There is. I apologize profusely but the blog really is just a small snapshot of what's really going on. You guys get all the best stuff though. Really.
OKAY! Mostly. Sometimes, the best things have to be saved for myself and can't be shared. And sometimes, the intensely personal things I may normally say - I won't because those people may see it at some point. And, unless I tell *them* first, I cannot tell you. That's just the way it is. Sorry.
Email just received....from my old landlord...
Hows it going, been thinking about all the details of you moving out, and I've got some questions
Will you have a car out here? Where are you going to put your stuff in Calgary? Store it? Or move it to the Coast? What things are you used to having in Calgary? Is your Condo 2 bedroom? Do you have a washer and dryer or do you use a laundromat?
Okay now here are the things I have been checking into, rentals close to the hospital in case you don't have a car? Rentals in this area that are bigger than ours (we know a couple other landlords.. good people) in case a bachelor situation(which ours are) isn't what you want to go into. Is the possibility of living in a travel trailer an option to save some money for travelling?
(because they will do this for me, knowing that I'm not planning to stay very long).
I have also being looking into rides from Calgary to here, we know a couple avenues that "might" have trucks coming this way, to haul some stuff....All things I am just researching at the moment ...So if there is any "wills " and "won't s " that you can tell me about how you want your life to be when you move back that will help me narrow the field with the details at this end... Anyways give me anything you can think of....
And it does make me sad, a little, that my family can't (or won't) see the things that other people do.
All I have to do is flip the condo to 'rental property' and show up with a job. Tell us what you want your life to look like and we will do everything in our power to give it to you. When was the last time someone said that to you? Cause, seriously, do not the people that do see - rock my whole world, or what?
lyric at post:
..no other boy can take my place
when I look into your eyes
our love shines, yeah, our love shines
like a diamond mine..
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Miracle? Or Sign of Armageddon? You decide.
(just so you know, those horoscopes are creepin' me out. I may have to take them down. ahhh, wait.... 48 hours? It'll all be over tomorrow. Well, that's alright then.)Did I mention that my carpet shampooer isn't working since someone borrowed it from me? Cause isn't that just always the way?
Which has actually been upsetting me, especially since the V-8 Incident. Cause the carpet is still orange.
I'd checked my receipt and my manual (packrat!) and for the life of me could not find how long my freaking warranty was. So, I gave up.
Tonight, in the midst of 800 other things, I thought I would check the website one more time.
It's under full warranty until 10/11/2004.
Well, fuck me. Something actually broke down BEFORE the warranty ended?
Now I just have call and find a service place and get it to said servicey place. Without a car. Which is probably in another city. Which will probably cost more than I paid for it. And it will probably be the $2.50 belt that's broken.
But, still.....
lyric at post:
..they're shaking with the rhythm
making with the rhyme
jumping like they
just won the 6/49..
best quote of the day
he: So, is your throat feeling better?me: Yes, yes it is.
he: Do ya think it could be just the cold that the rest of us have been fighting for weeks?
me: Why, then, would I have had it for three months? And why would allergy medication make me feel better?
he: Hey, I'm just trying to give you hope. You're obviously screwed.
mind-numbing
Can you take this 80 page faxed document, hand-written (not printed but full-on tiny writing on lined paper) in FRENCH and just type it verbatim into Word? So we can send it to the French client?Sure, but you do realize I don't know French, quit French in high-school and in fact, don't much like the French** and that it's going to be a complete piece of incorrect trash, right? Which will probably end up saying something like... well, like... horrible due to me having no idea what I am typing as I cannot decipher nor guess at word patterns in a foreign language and this shitty writing?
(I couldn't think of anything suitably horrifying - my brain is numb, you see - abject apologies)
Right?
...made worse by the fact that you framed it as "this is a project that I'm sure will interest you" as opposed to (as Dooce might say) "here's something that will cause you to jab the hot forks of discontent repeatedly into your own eyes!".
Trend of the day in the paper: Life Caching. Apparantly, what we bloggers DO.
And because I am really unable to come up with anything else, hopefully I can appease and amuse you by sharing three of my horoscopes for the day.
these following two are sun sign and rising sign. and I think they may be contradictory but I'm not really sure. I'm all confused.
Cancer: Everyone takes a wrong turning now and again - it is nothing to be ashamed of. The important thing is that you know you have strayed from the path you should be taking and what happens over the next 48 hours will leave you in no doubt at all that it is time for a change.
Leo: There is an element of risk in most things in life and you are well aware that what you are planning could go badly wrong. You are also aware that if you don't go ahead with it you will hate yourself for being so timid, so prepare as well as you can then jump right in and pray that it all goes according to plan.
On the up side, my throat doesn't hurt as much. Although, that is not an up side for Cabot the polydactl cat.
**disclaimer - a) Canadian French. and b) that is by no means meant to reflect a blanket statement about the French but rather a great big wooly, arrogant and man, the air is stagnant under here blanket of the French that I have KNOWN. Thank you.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
anybody want a best friend? cuddly. cheap to feed. likes Kraft Dinner.
I applied for the perfect job today. As a sort of return to a tech. That they haven't been able to fill. Mostly cause they seem to be looking for me and my somewhat unique blend of talents. How weird is that? We shall see, I suppose, but they want someone right away. Can I manage that? I guess I don't have to figure that out unless they want me. For a 33% raise, I can if I have to.I found out today that I actually can finance the Airborne Pathojen Tour as I was hoping to. Which is good. But leaves me fighting the temptation to just say fuggitall and leave right now. Cause, yanno, I should really HAVE my UK citizenship before I leave. And I don't. oops.
The hair has been a success. Not that I care. But... . resounding success, all the same. Although it has been sort of weird to be stared at again. I'd been blending into the background for the last seven months or so. I sort of missed standing out. Though not enough to go back to my own haircolor.
Tony:here called with tickets to Sara McLaughlin tonight, which I couldn't afford, and probably wouldn't go to even if I could. I like her, don't get me wrong, but I don't think I could get through her 10 songs but rereleased as 800 remixes depressing shit without trying to hold my breath until I died. I am, however, upset because the opening act is Butterfly Boucher. Whom I think I'm in love with. And that is all Yeti's fault.
Kay, well, I never mentioned this bit before but sometime back in July I would wake up in the morning and my throat would hurt. Just on one side and just when I swallowed. But, it would go away after a while.
And, yes I did see LFD in July but I figured whatever it was would just go away like all the other weird 'wonder of modern medicine' shit.
It didn't. In fact, by the second week in August it hurt to swallow all the time. I however, was not worried as I had to see LFD next week anyways.
Was not worried that is, until Tuesday, when I lost my voice.
Then I was very worried. So, today, I left work and went to one of those nasty nasty walk in clinics. And the rest you shall get verbatim from an email because I am hungry and tired and must go away...
Dr. Stewwwwart (thinking out loud) figures it's mono, except I not any tireder than usual and no swollen glands. And not, you know, feeling crappy or anything. And although I know mono's making a 'comeback' - that's not it.
oohhhh, is that Mono, did you see? can you tell? should we get his autograph? Didn't he used to be big back in the 80's?
Oh, then I'd say it's some sort of allergy. Get a cat lately?
(Dogs don't cause the same reaction as cats. Apparantly. So the fact that I've lived with dogs for 8 million years has no bearing on the acquisition of Cabot a few months ago.)
Does it sleep on the bed?
(Oh, buddy it's allJen allthetime.)
So 24 hour Reactine and now I test. 4 days on. 4 days off. Because in the time honored tradition of Jen, that diagnosis feels right. So, no longer worried, but, if that's what it is.....then it's Reactine all the time or no voice or no cat.
And how can I be one more person who lets the poor fucker down? so. fuckfuckfuckfuck.
And this really is playing right now. Purely by chance.
lyric at post:
..I want to get my hands on him
Somebody's party in a London flat
You're where it's at and I know
You want to see me lose my mind..
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Gone gone gone
I'm not exactly sure who that smiling and endearing woman, who keeps freakin' me out every time I walk by the mirror, is......but she sure looks an awful lot like Annie Lennox
...(except of course for the bottom half of her face)
...she seems beyond tickled pink to have the old Jen back, though.
SuperPowers
I woke up this morning and arrived at work to find that I seem to have joined SpiderSal in his transformation to a superhero.I'll trade you a little invisibility for a cuppa, SS.
...and yes, I just edited out the litany of petty offences and devaluing (sp?) remarks. because they don't need to be itemized.....
You know, the job search has beeen desultory at best. I think I just ramped it up. Five or six notches. Because I'm done. The bad just tipped the scales over on the good. And, although it will break my heart to leave the DB and the T2, it's time to go.
Just call me HiddenJen. You may not be able to see me, but I'll be here all week.
lyric at post:
..don't let them win
hey now, hey now..
Monday, September 06, 2004
Weighty thoughts and light hearts
(have I mentioned I hate the 'edit html' 'compose' crap in here. It fucks with my shit.)This is an incredibly well-written and thoughtful post. In part:
No fanatic has the right to criticise another fanatic for fanaticism.Boy is on his way via a hour long text conversation and late boarding (thank god I can do it over the web cause I hate. typing. on. the. phone. - damn those aussies and their texting). Plane is packed full and he will not board until they call his name (and they did). Makes him special. LOL.
Hate has no value and no purpose beyond its own regeneration. Out with the virus. Those who hold strong views are responsible for them and for the climate they create. Those views are not harmless. They are never justified in the light of ordinary logic. Only in the dark and twisted personal worlds of those addicted to the euphoria of certainty do they become simple and compelling.
We can all do something to end this.
Although, if I'd been the one who'd taken 30 int'l flights in the last three years, I'd make them carry me on. Kicking and screaming. Preferably after a shot of morphine in the ass.
Safe and happy flight, big fella. See you in 15.
Suddenly
Apart from the problems still with the javascript, having my shit checkup on the 16th, being broke and (until my lower cost 'oh no, officer, they didn't fall off the back of a truck' ebay nicotine patches arrrive) I am suddenly cold turkey, - - M2 is on his way out of the country today. Welcome to my life. Won't you come in and sit for a while?Actually, I laugh at that because I'm not so concerned with any of it. Not really, in a deep down part of me, at all.
Even though M2 lives roughly 1,000 km away from here there's never been any sense of disconnection. By that, I mean that I don't feel like he's very far away and I don't feel 'apart' from him at all.
That could be due to technology, I guess. My morning email, the emails backandforthing throughout the day, an occasional phone call or text message. Emails that don't really have any guardedness or feel like they are self-conscious. Lately, our own blog, where I can ask questions about the little things that we would learn if we were physically together all the time. Things that he may learn from reading this place but me without a comparable access to him. It could also be due to the fact that we've been seeing each other for a couple days roughly every two and a half weeks since we met.
But, I have this feeling that the credit is due more to us and the people we are right now than to computers or distance or anything else.
I'm thinking about this because our gap time right now is five weeks. And today, in four hours from the time I actually started writing this, he's getting on a plane to spend 10 days in London. It's not a distance thing, not at all, 1,000 or 10,000 it doesn't really matter.
It's that I realized on Saturday that suddenly, he wouldn't be there whenever I wanted him to be - that in London, he won't be near a computer and certainly shouldn't be looking for one. Maybe a little bit in realizing I'll be thinking more of him than he will of me because I'm in a routine and he will be somewhere exciting with his favorite person in the world.
Still, I've gotten used to that instant communication. I don't depend on it or expect it but I have come to cherish it for it's unexpectedness and the way it makes me laugh. The way it makes me feel.
And although the trip doesn't change anything in the slightest - it caused me a little bit of panic. And a little bit of feeling suddenly alone.
It's not that I don't want him to go. I do. Absolutely no question about it. In part for the same reasons I would never even consider the thought of asking him to come here, even if I thought I had the right to - because there are other places he should be right now. And whether or not those other places will ever include me remains to be seen and isn't something I spend any time worrying about.
Cause he really is the most incredible fella ever.
Besides, in 15 days, I get him all to myself (except for that pesky wedding and visiting thing) for six and a half whole days.
This still stands. Maybe now, more than ever. It still doesn't need to be figured out.
And it still makes me everything it did five weeks ago.
What could be more important than that?
Little help 'ere, Britain?
M2 is going to London tomorrow (today) and the only thing I want is candy. Of course it is a candy that I don't know the name of, but it's a traditional / old one as it was around when I was ... well, about 22 years ago. And I can't find them here. The only way I can describe it is that they look like wine gums but they are tiny, and hard, and taste a bit like soap. I did a quick search on the interwebnetthingy and I think they may be Floral Gums and that they made me think of soap because they're perfumed but I really am not sure.Anyone?
Sunday, September 05, 2004
do unto others, RIGHTNOW, you big idiot
Because I have not gotten around to putting Kaetlan in my blogroll (whom I have been reading thanks to Watership Dog) - I check in from my favorites list, laugh my ass off, snort some water all over the computer and then wander off again. I'm pretty sure I've never commented and since we all know that pisses me off for some completely insane 'jenreason', I'm not sure why I haven't. But, I can admit, righthere and rightnow, that I have a suspicion it makes me a very bad blogger / human being.So, as a complementary and superbly put post along the lines of my point about life in a 20 block radius, I give you *Help Had Better be “On The Way,” Or I’m Fucked*.
Because it absolutely rocked. And I'm rightthisminute putting her in my blogroll and if I had something witty to say, honestly, I would leave a comment, too.
excerpt:
Isn't she lovely?
lyric at post:
..tell me why you're here
and who you are..
lightbulb moment
The cat's food is fairly small little roundy bitty things and he has this annoying habit of jamming his face full on into the bowl and proceeding to fling these little bits everywhere to annoy the living bejeesus out of me.Or so I thought.
Until the other day when I realized - after hours (minutes) of keen observation (standing in the kitchen telling him he's pissing me off) that due to the fact that he has no teeth /all broken teeth in the front, it's actually that the food is so small that it just falls back out when he gets a mouthful. So, what he's doing is grabbing as much as he can and then chucking his head back to get at least a bit of food to the safer back part of his mouth. Thereby causing everything near his big gaping hole to escape and fly merrily about in all directions.
Sad, but true.
lyric at post:
..and it suddenly occurs
that I'm surrounded by these girls
but there ain't no woman around..
gahhh. One last hairball.
Okey. Fixed it. But -going 'way now.
