My Lacey Bits
I come out of the bedroom and you are standing in the middle of the room with your back to me, gazing at something I can't see or thinking thoughts that I can't ever know. I creep up behind you in a crouch, poke you in your fat little bum and as you spin around to catch me, I move. We are twisting around and around in the middle of the room, chasing each other, and I am laughing at the joy of you.
I scoop you up in mid-spin and carry you on my hip over to sit on my lap in the chair. You lift your paw and lay it pad side on my cheek, craning your face towards me to lick my chin. As I rub your belly your paw flexes on my face, gripping like a child, claws digging in oh-so-gently as I hit your favorite spots.
You move your face a little to the left to lick the tears that fall at the oft-lately realization that soon you will no longer be here to love and to laugh with, no longer surprised to be scooped up in mid-thought and danced about the room. I think that although you have caught my tears before, you probably don't understand that lately, they've all been for you. And although I smile at you and kiss your warm black nose, my heart is breaking anew with every day that is left..
February 14, 2004